The Art of Criticism

We had a Relief Society Activity in Feburary that focused on the Family Proclamation and we discussed communication techniques along with the art of criticism.  All the information was taken from John Lund, who is a noted LDS family therapist.

Here are some tips from Dr. Lund.


From the book Without Offense: The Art of Giving and Receiving Criticism by Dr. John L. Lund
The Art of Giving Criticism

Step 1:	Before you speak ask yourself two questions: Is the Criticism a part of my stewardship or my business? Is the Criticism not only true, but is it necessary?
Step 2:	If the answer to both the foregoing questions is “NO”, then BACK OFF! If the answer is “YES”, then proceed with the following: Ask for and receive permission to criticize. Be alone with the one being criticized at a mutually agreeable time and place. Be in emotional control and logically explain your concern. No yelling, crying, swearing, physical or emotional intimidation. Stay focused on the issue or behavior. Do not attack self-worth. Separate the issue from their self-esteem.
Step 3:	Affirm their worth to you.

The Art of Receiving Criticism

Step 1:	1. STOP!  Immediately remove your EGO from the issue or behavior being criticized. 2. LOOK at the person. 3. LISTEN. Do not defend, make an excuse or apologize. Don’t speak, LISTEN.
Step 2:	Write it down where you can evaluate it.
Step 3:	Feed it back without emotion.
Step 4:	Excuse yourself from immediate response and set a time and place to respond.
Step 5:	Evaluate the criticism and your resources for dealing with it, i.e. time, energy, will.
Step 6:	Respond at appointed time and place. The response will fall into one of three categories: I will change. I disagree and this is why… I will not change because I am unwilling or unable to do so.

***We do have extra family home evening packets and some extra mats and Proclamations if you would like to work on the project at home.